Welcome
Lovers and Friends
Healthy Relationships Begin With Self-Awareness.
Your attachment, values, and needs shape how you show up in relationships. Once you understand them, you can stop repeating old patterns and create something new. Let’s Get Into IT! 👇🏾
Attachment: How You Relate
Your attachment style is the pattern you developed for how you connect, trust, and seek closeness in relationships.
Attachment in Modern Relationships
From ghosting to triple-texting, here’s a guide for how each attachment style shows up in today’s dating scene.
Values: What Matters Most
Values are what you won’t compromise on in love or life. Here’s how to spot them:
What feels good?
Think of moments you felt proud, alive, or most yourself.
Ex: If mentoring others or learning lights you up, knowledge may be a core value.What feels wrong?
Frustration often reveals a crossed value.
Ex: If “grind culture” drains you, rest and balance may be a top value.What are your non-negotiables?
Ask: “What must a partner value for this to work?”
Ex: If family is central, you’ll want someone who prioritizes family too.
Needs: What Makes You Feel Secure
Needs are the everyday ways you feel safe and cared for.
Check Your Patterns
What situations trigger insecurity or distance for you? These reactions often trace back to unmet needs from earlier in life.
Ask: Can I meet this need myself?
Ex: I need reassurance → I can ground myself with affirmations before I reach for my phone.
Ask: Is this a need I can voice to a partner?
Ex: I need connection → I can ask for a weekly date night or daily check-ins.
Notice how you feel loved.
Ex: If your love language is quality time, your need might be regular, intentional moments of presence.
3 Questions to Ask Yourself After a Date
How did I feel in my body during the date?
Relaxed? Energized? Tense?
Your nervous system often tells you the truth before your mind does.
2. Did our values and priorities feel aligned?
Did they share what matters most to them (family, career, faith, fun, health)?
Did anything feel off, pressured, or mismatched?
3. Was I able to show up as myself?
Did I feel comfortable being honest and authentic?
Did I hold back or perform to be accepted?
Pro Tip:
Instead of asking “Do they like me?” → Ask “Do I like how I feel with them?”